Unspoken Pleasure by Erotica

It's A Sin: 7

"That's triple sec. That stuff packs more punch than a roofie for lightweights like you." he bragged. "I didn't give

it to you to make you fuckthough. I gave it to you so it would hurt less when | did."

"You knew you were going to fuck me?" she asked? That's when Brian opened the door though, and the sudden

noise of the party washed her words away. She endured everyone's looks and knowing smiles as she half walked

and was half dragged to Brian's car. It was the third most humiliating moment of her short life.

On the drive hshe asked again, "So you knew? You knew you were going to fucktonight? Didn't just

happen? How could you do that?" There were tears in her eyes when she finished, though she managed to avoid

crying for now, if only barely.

"You were always getting fucked tonight Ivy. You needed it." Brian said confidently. "I did it for your own good.

You need to get fucked a few times or else you're deffinitely going to end up a lesbian."

"I..." Ivy tried to respond, but she was stunned. "You didn't have to--"

"Is that what you want? To be a dyke? For your parents to find out that their little girl is a pervert?" He asked,

making her burn with humiliation as she saw his point, if only barely.

"No..." she sighed.

"Well then go home, sleep it off, and maybe this weekend we'll have smore fun so we can finally get those

sinful urges out of your system."

"But | might be pregnant," she said again as he pulled up in front of her house.

"Girls never get pregnant their first time," he said, sounding like he knew what he was talking about."You'll be

fine. Don't worry so much." He kissed her goodnight, and she didn't try to fight it, then she walked to her porch

with more than a little difficulty. She was grateful that the windows were dark at least. If her parents saw her like

this she'd be grounded pretty much forever.

Ivy made it upstairs without making too much noise, and then got in the shower, trying to let the hot water wash

the shoff her body, but no matter how hard she scrubbed there was still more there. She'd been completely

ruined. She knew that. Her life was completely over. She would have thought about killing herself if it wasn't

such a terrible sin. Instead she was going to have to find sway to redeem herself. Surely there was some

penance she could do - something she could try, if only her period would cin a few days.

She thought about praying right there in the shower, but she just felt too far from god in the moment to have

that conversation. He might love sinners, but right now she didn't see how anyone could love her.

Ivy tried to pretend that things were normal. That nothing had changed, but after that night with Brian nothing

was the same. Well - nothing but how Anna haunted her mind no matter what she did. Saturday cas a

blessed relief to the looks she was getting at school now and the rumors that swarmed around her worse than

ever. Whether they were rumors that she was gay or rumors that she was a slut depended on the clique and the

person telling the story. That awful night was supposed to fix all of these swirling problems in her life, but it only

made things worse for her. To top it off she still hadn't had her period yet, though she probably wouldn't actually

be late until Monday or Tuesday. It was a nightmare, but one she did her best to ignore as she kept her

‘everything is fine' smile on in front of her family and friends at all times.

She spent as much of the morning in bed as she could but by ten the heat was oppressive and her siblings were

getting annoying, so after a little makeup she dug out a swimsuit, got on her bike, and went to the community

pool to do a little tanning.

"Where do you think you're going," her mom asked when she was about to slip out of the door.

"I'm just going to the pool to cool off mom," Ivy responded, rolling her eyes before she turned around to face her

parent. She could be so nosy sometimes, and nothing really pleased her. If Ivy stayed in her room all day her

mother would complain about how antisocial she was being, but if she went out, suddenly she needed to know

every last detail.

"Off to meet sboy?" her mother teased, lowering her voice conspiratorially so it was too quiet for her other

siblings to hear.

"No mother - of course not. I'm just going to do slaps and then tan until it cools off a bit." she replied, trying

to keep the annoyance out of her voice. She was eighteen now - an adult - but her parents still insisted on

treating her like a child.

"Alright..." her mom said, letting the word linger like she didn't really believe there wasn't an alternative motive

to the whole thing. "Well be back before dinner okay hun? | love you."

"I love you too mom," Ivy said, before disappearing out the door.

The sun was already scorching by the tIvy started riding, and she couldn't imagine doing anything in this

heat that didn't involve shade or water. If it was going to be hot today, she might as well enjoy it. That Anna

worked as a lifeguard at the pool sdays had nothing to do with it, she was sure - she probably didn't even

work today, Ivy told herself as she locked up her bike outside.

Even though Brian's words continued to haunt her, locker rooms were one of the reasons that Ivy knew she

wasn't gay. He could call her a dyke and a lesbian all he wanted, but she'd changed around women her whole

life, and she never had the urge to stare. She didn't linger and check out the other girls either, unless it was to

see what a particularly popular girl might be wearing or something. That was totally normal though. The one

piece suit that she'd brought with her today was technically modest when she'd bought it last year, but if her

mother saw how it fit her now she'd probably give it to goodwill. It was a marble printed one piece in swirling

blues and grays that was a little tighter on her than it used to be. It was a lot tighter than it used to be on top

and it made her breasts look nicer than any bra she owned, even giving her a tiny bit of cleavage which she

secretly loved though she pretended not to notice it when one of her friends pointed it out. The pool itself was

pretty packed, because it turned out everyone else with nothing to do had the sidea about today, so instead

of doing much swimming, Ivy found a lounge and basked in the sun. Having to actually do anything in the sun

was awful, but laying here being caressed by it for a while wasn't so bad. As she got settled, she made a quick

scan of the place but didn't see the object of her obsession anywhere, which was fine. It was a long shot anyway.

Instead Ivy laid back like she was going to take a nap and put on the pair over oversized sunglasses she'd

brought with her. They were her favorite for trips to the pool like this, but not because of the sun.

Her favorite thing to do at the pool was people watch. It was a small town, so she knew most of the people and

she loved to watch all the small s like it was her favorite netflix series. Who was wearing what suit, and

flirting with who. You'd think that with so many of the people dating the speople for so long that those

things wouldn't change - but they did more than you would think. Of course it also gave her the perfect chance

to watch the guys check her out. It was the reason she'd cto love this suit so much, because it made them

focus on her so much more. She might not actually want much to do with guys, but Ivy loved feeling desired by

them, and today, with everything that was going on, she needed that desire more than ever.

There was just something so powerful and sensual about seeing a guy here with his girlfriend staring at her tight

young body so much that he had trouble tearing his eyes away from her, or funnier still, getting caught. That

happened now and then, and the hardest part of this whole gfor Ivy was keeping a straight face when it did.

All the attention in the world couldn't keep her thoughts cheerful forever though. After nearly an hour she rolled

over to tan her back. In the darkness of putting her head down all the darkness of the week returned to her, and

all the positivity she'd been wearing fell away.

She could deny it to herself all she wanted, but deep down she knew that she'd been raped at that party on

Tuesday. She hadn't gone to the police because she knew she could never prove it, but knowing and proving

were very different things. The pain of being ripped open had faded by Friday, and when the worry faded when

she finally had her tof the month in the next few days she could finally pretend that the whole thing had

never happened. She doubted very much that even that wall of denial would keep the sadness entirely at bay.

How could it? It had leaked through all the defenses she'd tried so far including: 'l might not have wanted it, but |

definitely enjoyed it', 'at least | know I'm not gay now," 'it was God's punishment for my sinful thoughts’, and

‘almost no one actually waits until marriage anymore - my husband will understand."

They were all fine arguments, but none of them took away the way she felt sad or dirty all the time. She was

nothing but used goods now. She would have continued into her downward spiral for another twenty minutes at

least but something else slowly dawned on her: she was getting wet. It was hardly the first tthis week that

reliving her rape had arroused her, but it was the first tit had happened while she was wearing a swimsuit,

especially one that darkened noticibly when it got wet... Ivy rolled over and sat up, unsurprised but deeply

mortified to see a dark spot on her crotch. She hadn't originally intended to go swimming today, but now she

kind of had to. Nonchalantly she folded up her towel on her chair and put her sunglasses on it before walking

slowly to the diving board.